On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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