I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
