yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
