found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
