R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
