I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
