I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
