Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
