idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
