Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
