So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just pee around me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
