It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
