are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
