Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
