so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and she was petting her beer can
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Someone came in the potted fern
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
