I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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