I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
