sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
