She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mom said you looked used
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
