It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
