I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
