Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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