i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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