I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
