pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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