Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
