in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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