How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
