Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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