I'm jealous of your bromance
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
