pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
