Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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