Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
