We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
