i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
