I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
