i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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