I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
