the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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