Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
