super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
