so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
