He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
