yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
