I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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