D3 body, D1 cock
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
