Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
