ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
