Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
