If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
