The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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